cdbowman offers us this story idea:

"Hello - I am the Son of God and reincarnate. The restaurant Bennigans
(Been Again) and Sesame Street (See Same) indicate reincarnation. Words like Kennedy (Can I die) will make sense once you read my link fully... http://www.geocities.com/cdbowman1 .. Check this out, when I die, it's a funeral (Funny Are All) and they put me in a coffin (See Often) Read the whole thing and you will see that I am the Master. You will learn that all jewelry is actually bondage equipment... set up by me, the Master...necklaces, ties, collars on shirts even. Perfect story for your alternative paper."